Part of that process has been coming to understand that fun days create fond memories, but not lasting feelings of love. Love stems from the consistent and seemingly insignificant or repetitive moments from day to day.
It has always been important to both my children that I cuddle with them for ten to fifteen minutes before nap-time and bedtime. As I recognized the importance of this for both my children, it adds up to an hour a day that I spend cuddling my children. An hour that doesn't allow for multi-tasking or productivity. So what makes it worth it to sacrifice an hour each and every day, over and over again? Well, an obvious answer is the precious one-on-one time that I will never get back. Also, the beautiful conversations I get to have with Anders. He has started telling me during the past few weeks, during our special cuddle time, that I am beautiful. He also cannot tell me enough how much he loves me. And neither can I.
Another benefit of this time sacrificed, my boys don't demand or scream at me at all. Like ever. They feel loved, completely. My one hour a day fills almost all of their needs from me. Don't get me wrong. They eat up every minute I play with them, but they don't demand it. Which is beautiful when I am all-day "morning sick" and really don't have a lot to give.
Could I be doing more as a mom? Always. But my number one goal of my children feeling loved is accomplished in a daily, one-hour sacrifice of my time. And every minute of that hour is worth it.