Thursday, January 30, 2014

All We Need Is Love

I have had a lot on my mind probably doesn't help that I am not allowed to do anything. I have been under pregnancy house arrest for a few weeks now and I have felt guilty for not really being able to play with my boys because I need to keep my blood pressure low. I have my daughter coming on Monday, kind of blowing my mind. It almost feels like a business transaction having a scheduled c-section. 

I pass the time keeping up tabs on friends, reading scriptures and other books, and watching Netflix. In keeping up tabs with friends, I have had several in the past few days post frustrations about having young, angry children. I have friends who feel inadequate as mothers. I have been reading news stories that just about break my heart. Like this picture I saw of a little orphan girl in Afganistan who drew a chalk picture of her mom on the ground and curled up inside of the drawing because she missed her mom so much! My heart lept out of my chest and I yearned to hold her. 

I read a story yesterday that still has my mind reeling. A 5-month-old baby boy was left in his car seat for eight day, and died from his feces eating through his skin and spreading infection. Can you imagine the last week of that little boys life? 

It really got me to thinking about my role as a mom. I know I can't be a perfect mom, and there will be times when my kids will hate me, or claim they hate me. I know I fall short just like every other mom on the planet. My ultimate goal as a mom is to help my children feel of my love for them, and God's love for them. My favorite response from my children when I tell them that I love them, is "uh-huh" in the affirmative. I feel like I am doing a good job if their response to my love is a deep belief in that love. 

Reflecting again on the infant boy that died from neglect, I think a lot of us "moms" are doing a much greater job then we are really giving ourselves credit. We aren't simply deciding we are done and allowing our children to die from neglect. Maybe we don't always play with our kids as much as they want, maybe we spend too much time on social media, maybe we lose our tempers with the impossible stubbornness of our two-year-old's, maybe we forget to pray for help in seeing our children as the children of God that they are. But we TRY again each day by working to provide great lives for our children, taking care of their basic needs and showing them love by expressing it in words and actions daily. We are doing Heaven's work in raising the kids we are sent, so we are all receiving Heaven's help. Happiness is a choice for each of us, including our children, and so our job is not to make our children happy. Our job is to love them for who they are and teach them the way to find true happiness. 

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